Obsessive Thoughts Are Noisy
Ever have a song stuck in your head that you just want OUT!? Now imagine the song that’s stuck in your head is one that brings up terrible fears. You’d want that song OUT even more, right? You might try to drown out the song with another song or you might try to distract yourself or yell in your mind “Get Out!”. And no matter how hard you push, the thoughts. just. stay. put. It can be so frustrating and distracting! Anger and annoyance can build when all you want to do is have peace from the relentless playing of that song! Unfortunately, for individuals with OCD, having repetitive thoughts of fearful or uncomfortable things is a very common reality.
but let them stay
You read that correctly. Let the fearful and uncomfortable thoughts (whether it’s a song that drives you mad or an unwanted mental intrusions of your worst nightmare) STAY. The more effort you put in trying to control or eliminate a thought in your mind, the more it sticks around. The “What we resist, persists” quote comes to mind here. Not only do we, as humans, have no control over the thoughts that pop into our minds, we elevate our levels of anxiety and tension by trying to do so! In other words, attempting to control thoughts will only leave you feeling more upset.
So What works?
“You’re telling me I can’t make the thoughts stop?” Yeah, you probably can’t make the thoughts just stop.
“So you’re telling me I have to just let the thoughts stay?” Also, yes, but let me add to this.
You can’t do anything to make unwanted mental intrusions cease to exist and we know trying to push them out doesn’t work. But what you CAN do, is shift your perspective to one of radical acceptance - accepting reality as is.
Radical acceptance does not mean you enjoy what you’re experiencing, that you agree with the thoughts you’re having, or that you want this state of mind to continue. What it does mean is that you accept what is happening in the moment and you give up the fruitless fight! As I mentioned before, we actually don’t have control over what pops into our minds, but we do have control over how we respond to it. And fighting a thought creates more tension in our bodies, frustrates us, and distracts us from being focused on more valuable things.
“We don’t have control over what pops into our minds, but we do have control over how we respond to it”
Try On This Idea
When confronted with an intrusive thought (or song stuck in your head) try making space for the intrusive thoughts (not because you like them, not because you’re okay with them, but because they are here now anyways). What I mean by “making space” is allow yourself to experience the thought AND ALSO other things in your awareness. Instead of trying to push the thought out or away, say “You can sit here with me at this table, there’s room for you and for all the other things I am focused on”.
If this feels hard to do, lets chat about it! Schedule a consult at info@atlantaanxietycare.com or call me at 865-498-6319 to set up a session.
